But really, what do we do with today?
When I was younger I used to dream about my life and it was full of grand moments. Like continuous grand moments. No valleys, who's got time for that? Just mountains, please. You know, feel-good movie reel type stuff. That was the plan.
Then I got a little older and realized how much things don't always go according to plan, actually they rarely go exactly according to plan, which means embracing change. Which I'm so bad at, by the way! Don't even get me started on goodbyes. I'm terrible at those, I cry anytime we have to leave a place in time that we loved and the people in it. First going off to college, living in Galveston, Sam' first apartment, leaving any vacation ever, Sam's office house downtown...I can count on tears every time.
I quickly realized that life was going to be full of ups and downs. Even though it still surprises me...and I still sometimes act like the world is ending in those valleys. I've realized that the things that I want most have required hard work, persistence, patience and a ton a ton of prayer - patience and mountains and valleys and faith. And thinking back I've seen all the ways I've failed, yet all the places that God's plan for my life has prevailed. And yes, if you're reading this and you know me, there have been many failings along the way. SO MANY. But God who strengthens and upholds, who orders my steps, who helps me, who is with me and won't abandon me, whose compassion and lovingkindness never ceases - He is good.
Lately I've been thinking about how short life is, and that we never truly know how short our life will be. Which immediately makes me daydream about those grand moments and mountain tops of a life - which are honestly usually self-seeking and self-serving. PLEASE GOD CAN WE MOVE TO BORA BORA OR SOMETHING?!? But I've lived 28 years long enough to know that God is nearest in the struggle and that here in the midst of wherever I am, He moves and He works and if I'm paying attention, I grow. So what can I do today but look for Him. I've got a plan in my heart, but it is God who directs my steps. How will I know where to go if today I don't look for Him?